Christmas, according to countless artists, musicians, writers, and moviemakers, is a time of peace and joy, laughter and love, happy families gathered around to create memories that will last a lifetime.

In reality, it can be a season that would test the patience and goodwill of a saint, fraught with disappointment, old grudges, heated arguments, and memories of cheek-pinching and inane comments that no one will look back on with joy. Herewith a guide to surviving the season.

Shopping: The ongoing postal strike probably means more people heading out to the local shops or the mall rather than ordering online. It goes without saying that the earlier you do this, the more satisfied you鈥檙e likely to be in terms of getting what you want.

If, however, the shelves are bare when you get there, please don鈥檛 take it out on the staff. It鈥檚 not their fault that the store doesn鈥檛 have the precise item you wanted, in the exact size/colour you were looking for. This goes double (or triple) the closer it gets to Christmas. Left your shopping until Dec. 24? Look, the staff don鈥檛 want to be there any more than you do, so take a deep breath and show some kindness. A simple 鈥淢erry Christmas鈥� goes a long way.

Season鈥檚 greetings: Speaking of which, if someone says 鈥淗appy Holidays鈥� to you rather than 鈥淢erry Christmas鈥�, resist the urge to lecture them on the 鈥渨ar on Christmas鈥� or the "real" reason for the season. There are a number of significant festivals and celebrations 鈥� some religious, some secular 鈥� taking place from November through January, with Christmas being just one of them. Save your ire for something worthwhile.

Gifts: Quality, not quantity. One meaningful gift that will be used and appreciated is worth its weight in a load of 鈥渟tuff鈥� bought to bulk out the display under the tree. And while the idea of that wonderful 鈥渟urprise鈥� gift is lovely, far better to ask directly what someone wants and get that, to avoid disappointment. This cannot be overstated when it comes to young children, who want precisely what they want with a white-hot passion and single-mindedness that you do not want to see thwarted on Dec. 25, unless you love meltdowns.

The big day: If you have young* children, memorize the phrase 鈥淲e鈥檇 love to come for Christmas dinner but prefer to stay at home while little [insert name here] is still so young.鈥� This is a complete sentence, although you can embellish it if you feel the need: 鈥淲e want to create our own Christmas memories/it鈥檚 so difficult to travel with little ones/they鈥檙e just getting over a cold/snow is forecast and we don鈥檛 want to take the chance鈥� etc.

Also, it's the height of cruelty to give young children bright and shiny new things, then yank the kids away to go spend hours in a strange place where they鈥檙e expected to stay on their best behaviour, not touch anything, and endure cheek-pinching and inane comments from people who in many cases they barely know. Let them stay in the comfort and safety of their own space; everyone will thank you.  *The precise definition of 鈥測oung鈥� children is up to you and your conscience.

Christmas dinner: If you find yourself in the position of hosting, this is a time for tried and true dishes; save that artichoke and anchovy stuffing recipe you saw online for another occasion. If you鈥檙e a guest, and have a minor food allergy or concern, mention it to the hosts beforehand; if you have a major allergy or concern, consider bringing your own dish. If you just don鈥檛 like something on your plate, hide it under the mashed potatoes.

And if you feel that Christmas dinner with the adults is likely to be fraught, volunteer to sit at the kids鈥� table. The parents will love you for 鈥渂abysitting鈥�, and the kids are unlikely to be hitting the bottle too hard or talking politics. Just don鈥檛 pinch their cheeks or make inane comments; everyone hates that.